Not being very interested in the sermon, I leaned to my wife eventually and whispered, "Is this relevant?"
She tuned me in with, "Oh yeah, you'd be surprised the women that don't cook."
I said, "Huh? Really? Well how do people eat then?"
After sitting through the pretty boring sermon - mostly describing the ideal woman from Proverbs 31 and how she was industrious and cooked and was a pleasure to behold and on and on - I went to the Sunday School class only to hear the women laugh and carry on how they don't cook at all. One prominent lady said she doesn't even bother to bring home fast food. It was pretty much a joke of an idea to even think about cooking. The male teacher himself said his wife's stove had been broke for two years. And the wife didn't even know it. Another minister's wife joked how she had just informed her husband no Sunday dinner would be ready for today and he'd have to take her to a restaurant.
As church was ending a man in the foyer was practically crying, shaking, and telling me how these sermons on happy marriages were killing him. He couldn't take much more. He said he was ready to "just give it all up" and to "cut losses and get a divorce". He said he was embarrassed that his children had to hear what a good mom was like.
After going home I asked my wife more about these other women that don't cook.
She reminded me of some friends of ours who are on the edge of divorce. She doesn't cook, the house is usually a wreck, and she doesn't particularly prepare herself or any greeting for when her husband gets home off of work.
She complains her husband isn't being the loving kind of husband she wants. She may leave him.
I thought of another person. I was his best man at his wedding. He has two children.
His wife used to broadcast often that she "does not cook and never will. Period." They pack up the kids and go out somewhere every night - if they want to eat.
They're going through a divorce now.
We went home after church and ate:
- Chicken fried chicken w/ gravy
- Green beans (grown from her garden)
- Fresh tomatoes and cucumbers (garden again)
- Homemade brownies
I brought in the leftovers to work today and ate it all again.
It was really really really good.
Mmmmmmmmmm.........
Yes Mitch, you are blessed more than most with a wife who is atypical from the rest. Hearing you describe that awesome dinner she made for you brought back fond memories. You are blessed in many ways and so is Adena.
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice if all it took was a delicious cooked meal and a kept home to sustain a marriage. However, learning the hard way has demonstrated to me that it takes a committed effort to possess an endless supply of love, forgiveness and patience to live in a righteous and sustainable marriage.
Cherish your fortunate life and allow it to humble you because, you could have found yourself struggling with your marriage like your good friend, for which I am extremely saddened to hear about. I hope that you see that I truly care and understand.
By the way, when your friend and I were young and spent time with you and your family, we often talked about marrying a woman like Adena. She was always an outstanding role model and I'm sure she still is. I believe that I have finally been blessed with such a wife and it is such a comforting feeling, isn't it?
Hmm... I guess being of the male gender makes it impossible to TURN THE KNOB ON THE STOVE ???
ReplyDeleteIf you get into a marriage where the "wife won't cook" then the husband had better know how (and be willing to) cook. If either party has a problem with this then maybe they shouldn't get married in the first place.
I can't see how this could reach a problem stage, but I do believe that it is indicative of a bigger problem/issue in a relationship if either party "refuses" to share in the duties. And "share" doesn't necessarily mean "split down the middle" on every task.
Wow... I agree with both you guys 100%. I like that line about "turning the knob on the stove." :)
ReplyDeleteA wise person once told me that a marriage is 100%/100% ... not 50/50. That's a rule I've taken to heart.
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ReplyDeleteOops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
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ReplyDeleteWhen there's a will, I want to be in it.
ReplyDeleteSuicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
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ReplyDeleteLottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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