Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas from the family

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Coyotes and Chest Pain

Coyotes were yipping and howling late last night. Of course my dogs have to join in with their yodeling which makes sleeping very hard to do in my little cabin.

I was having a dream about a witch-doctor lady who was trying to minister to me by pressing hard on my chest while I lied down across her desk. I expressed to her this tightness and pain I had in my chest and she was trying to remedy me.

There's sometimes in my waking hours an awareness of anxiety or a tenseness I carry around in the center of my being that feels like my heart. I press and bang on my chest some but it doesn't go away. It is mental or emotional, not physical – I think.

As I'm lying there listening to the coyotes and my dog howl. I realized how much I worried about the ability of outside life - for example, wildlife, and even maybe nature - to survive outside of man. Somehow I've become convinced that if mankind doesn't change behavior, we will wipe out all life on earth. Well, maybe not all life, but surely the newly arrived surrounding coyotes in my neighborhood will more than likely be shot and killed out by someone, making them at least locally extinct.

I felt this same burdensome pressure in my chest.

Then I thought about the wily nature of the coyote and how sneaky he has been to successfully avert the onslaught of man with his semi-civilization of dogs, guns, and farming. Realizing to myself that in spite of man, coyotes have still so far survived. If man completely became extinct, coyotes might still survive on the outer edges somewhere.

Just knowing that I myself and mankind in general isn't completely in control and responsible for all wildlife - that man might die out someday and other wildlife could continue - released the pressure in my chest.

I exhaled and felt better than I've felt in long time. The pain in my chest went away.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Deer Fighting

It's rutting season for the deer in the Texas hill country and we sit on our porch nightly and catch a few bucks fighting now and then. It is amazing and intense.

Seeing some of these trophy bucks almost makes me want to go back to my deer hunting days.

When asked why I don't shoot one of these deer I reply, "I'd rather see that head and rack running around in the woods than cut off and hanging on my wall." We haven't filmed any of these incidents but I found a few interesting deer videos on YouTube.com.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Mountains, Texas, and Texas mountain music



Mountains are on my mind and I just wrote a bluegrass song about a man that gets jaded at the altar - it's called "oh, the pain"..... lots of lyrics and i find myself having trouble remembering my own lyrics. My wonderfully beautifully daughter recently went to Enchanted Rock had a picture of herself looking out upon the true West of Texas hill country. She is beautiful and enchanting. If you haven't found the internet stream ripper yet, go get it and rip some good music..... you won't regret it.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Treatment of Bush Has Been a Disgrace


Thanks Mr. Shapiro for calling Americans what we have surely shown to the world that we are - petty, disloyal, and short-visioned. Why Americans are so shallow as to place all the hopes, blames, and problems upon a single man - the President - is beyond me.

I hope Americans grow up and stop looking for a father-figure to solve their own problems. Unfortunately, Obama has taken his new post on that very platform - that things have been very bad for us and now "change" has come in the form of a black messiah.

I guess we'll find out soon enough. I hope Obama remembers how fast the public turned on Bush from a 90% approval to 20% over matters mostly beyond his control.

Americans should be proud that we have come such a long way that we can elect a black President. We should be ashamed again for our past for so easily disdaining a man like George W. Bush.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Great Nation

Congratulations to every black person who has survived their history to get to this magnificent point in America's timeline.

Congratulations to all of America for stepping up and voting their conscious regardless of color.

May our past be behind us.

May just the beginnings of the greatness of this nation begin to unfold.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Tarantula Wasp

We have tarantulas around us here in the hill country. We also have tarantula wasps. These are hummingbird sized insects that fly around looking for tarantulas to kill. I came across one the other day that just killed a tarantula and was dragging it somewhere - I assume to its lair. It headed due north and climbed straight up and over my rock wall dragging the dead tarantula.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I understand why Pilate washed his hands

I don't like to kill things

I don't mind if something has to die so I can live. But meaningless death bothers me. It's even harder if I have to do it.

Dogs killed another deer today. Or near killed it. Dogs chasing the deer. Wife (and this time my daughter also) chasing the dogs. I followed them all. A small female deer running for her life. Smashing into the fence over and over as the dogs are either on her tail or at her throat. It's very dramatic and fast happening when you are trying to prevent it.

Deer jumps up and crashes one more time before we get the dogs under control. It lays there breathing. The women screaming.

I pull them back. Daughter stares and watches the doe dying for awhile. Comes back an excites the mom into hysteria and senseless guilt. More wailing and cries of pain.

I have to rid the living, still breathing, but dying animal.

Bringing a fold-out Gerber knife I bought as a kid and recently sharpened. Talking to a friend who calls and says, "hey how's it going?" I go to the deer to try and finish her off.

Cutting her throat repeatedly, it comes to semi-life and kicks to try and remember its former life of romp and pleasure.

Friend on the phone, says "... man, why are being short with me."... "Sorry, dude, .. I'm trying kill this deer ... it don't wanna die", I say.

(When we die, do we need that extra time to repent and think about the life we've lived. Does cutting someone's or something's throat steal away the few extra moments a creature might have to say goodbye. Or is it imaginary? Is it just a slow loss of consciousness?)

Wife and daughter are making peace with each other now. A shot of tequila for me. I don't like killing things.

The dogs still pant.

Blood is on the rocks where I dragged the deer to an open field in hopes of the buzzards soon to spot.

I don't like dying. I don't like death.

I don't like cutting the throat of a living creature to help it die.

I don't like dying in general.

...can somebody

get me out of this thing?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Wimberley - Keeping it Weirder




Well to hell with the rest of the world, and politics and crashing economy and all that.... we here in Wimberley have kept the party rolling according to our motto of "keeping Wimberley weirder."
Last weekend I entered Phoebe (my elite but whiny American Bulldog) into the "Blessing of the Animals" celebration. She won an award for something - either best dressed or being a big dog or something.... we marched around and asked God to bless our animals... some folks had chickens, rabbits and a hermit crab. God was able to bless them all.




This weekend we had the 3rd annual Calamari Chili Cook-off - the largest chili cook off in Wimberley on this side of the Blanco River. It was great. We didn't win but came real close. Adena's chili was devoured by everyone. Mark won the "Best Booth" award with his Elvis in Hawaii dress-up. He did look cool I must admit. We were the "Raise the Dead" chili and dressed as such. I got to entertain a little on my slide guitar and harmonica with a make-shift gig with the popular Whitney who was there.




Whatever the rest of the world is doing, we're going to keep it weirder here in Wimberley and keep it fun.




It sucks to live in other places.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I love YouTube - Joe the Plumber is funny - Government is not.

With much ado, I was able to snag the code from YouTube that give me the specific videos I want... check all of these out that I've watched and enjoyed today... some about "Joe the Plumber" and some about various White, Black and government perspectives - mostly around Obama ... some of it very funny... some very serious (like the Ron Paul one)... enjoy.
If you don't like one, mouse over and click the arrows on video to go to the next.

Be sure to catch the last one entitled "How to Dance Like a White Guy" and don't forget to actually hear Hillary Clinton's onstage fart.

Barack Ocommie

Good ole' Joe. Boy this is fun.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Joe Plumber



Breaking news: Joe Plumber get lecture from Obama. Told we need to "spread the wealth". Joe Plumber doesn't laugh ... thinks about slapping Obama upside the head.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

If the below thesis is epistemologically sound, then literally:





I make the world that makes me

Epistemology: The study of what is meant by knowledge. What does it mean to know something as opposed to merely having an opinion. This issue has been at the core of Western philosophy since before Socrates, since, until it has been answered, all other questions become unsolvable.

I make the world that makes me





Thinking Makes It So

[context: "economic crises" going on now]

FAITH in the banks
FAITH in the financial system
FAITH in the economy

How can FAITH be the sustainer of anything?

Confidence. Truth. Believing that something is sound and true.

How can belief in something actually make that thing what you believe it to be - to be?

I don't get it? This is totally backwards to me. But that is what all the experts, government officials, and smart people of the world are saying is required to stabilize our economy - the banks, the financial system itself.

I don't get it.

The thing either exists or it doesn't. The qualities of the thing either is good or bad or somewhere in the middle. It's somewhat fair to characterize it at any given moment if it is to the left or to the right of that exact middle between Extreme good and Extreme bad. So this is not a black versus white issue.

So it is fair to say things can be described as GOOD or BAD.

The economy is either GOOD or BAD.
Banks are either GOOD or BAD
My BELIEF of whether something is GOOD or BAD can't actually make it become the very thing I believe it to be.

Can it?

Is this a paradox? Hidden wisdom? Magic? Mystical cause and effect in dimension of reality that we don't understand? Is this just some kind of hard-wired brain trick or semantic puzzle?

I don't get it. I can't say I believe it possible. I can't say I could get any reasonable person to confess that just simply believing in something MAKES it exist.

Yet I kind of believe it.

The economy rolls when people are confident. Banks work, the economic system works when people trust in it. We all kind of know this.

And this is true. (At least it sure appears to be.)

So is it the fact that these beliefs predominate across the masses? Is it the fact that the vast majority of people believing in, having faith in, trusting in some actual state of existence that actually makes it happen.

We all believe it is good and therefore it is good?

We all believe it is bad and therefore it is bad?

Does attitude itself MAKE the environment around us?!

And where does that leave the individual? Where does that lead me?

I think I am good therefore I am good?
I think I am bad therefore I am bad?

We - Need to Be

Need to be ... the essence of purpose and therefore joy ... what we all aspire to and the only thing that makes us happy. The NEED to be. Being needed. Being and engaging in the compiling of maneuvers to orchestrate events to survive that others might live; this is what brings joy and life.


Death is not being needed or wanted. Death is not supplying this essence to some other - imaginary or real.


HOPE is the fuel of self.


The need to be is the supplier of that fuel.


To keep this NEED TO BE, click Yes.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Politics, Polls, and Propaganda

$700 Billion bailout package turns out to be a "pebble in sea-storm". Find out and remember which of the Congressmen and Senators voted for this subsidizing. Thanks to Knight of Pan for the link.

Be sure to catch all of John McCain's video propoganda here.
Be sure to catch all of Barack Obama's video propoganda here.

And if you're looking to keep track of the swinging and swaying of which state will be voting for who keep this link on your favorites.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Squirrel Repellant


Sweet! I found for only $99 I can buy "fox urine granules" gauanteed to keep them damn squirrels away.


Word to that! Send me two!

I wonder how they make these? Trap a bunch of foxes and tie little baggies to their backends? Then freeze dry 'em?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Free but not Free

Remember the "Free Kevin" campaign? Kevin Mitnick was one of the first examples made by the federal government for "hacking" into computer systems. Well, Kevin spent 5 years in prison (4 1/2 BEFORE a trial) and has been out for 8 years but is still being harrassed.

On a same but different note, another Kevin also is being claimed as injustly being held by our federal government.

Oh, and by the way... If you've ever used a peer-to-peer network and swapped copyrighted files, chances are pretty good you're guilty of a federal felony.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

People that Hate Squirrels




I have some backwoods country folk friends that hate squirrels. They HATE, HATE, HATE squirrels. If you say the word "squirrel" around any of the family they will immediately let out a barrage of profanities about "tree rats", "varmints", and a series of why-it-is-good-to-kill-anything-that-might-interfere-with-your-garden-or-attic lectures.

I mean these people are obsessed. It is very comical. When I hear a gunshot in the neighborhood I assume it is one of them killing a squirrel.

The other day I heard the dad chewing out the son for shooting a squirrel and not even throwing the carcass over the fence. The son apologized and promised to not leave it lying in the garden next time.

Actually, I'm surprised he threw the carcass away at all, because I know this young man likes to eat dead squirrel. I've shot and ate squirrels a bunch in my younger days.

So I culled a few facts from the web.

There does exist at least one Squirrel hatred group.

Squirrels are considered one of the 10 most intelligent animals on the planet.

Squirrels live in symbiosis with oak trees and are most responsible for their successful propagation across North America.

Squirrel brains are good to eat with scrambled eggs for breakfast. (According to many observations made by Adena watching her grandparents in early Alabama mornings.)


Personally, I like squirrels. I think they are cute and playful. One scraggly-tailed one my wife has named Alvin came up to me this morning and barked at me all sassy like - till my dogs came and chased him away.


Squirrels are cool. Spread the word.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Loss of Desire, Loss of Truth, Loss of Both

Sitting in a high school psychology class as a kid once, after I replied to the teacher that I indeed could tell when people lied or told the truth, I got nearly laughed out of the room.

Certain people can detect lying. I developed a certain amount of this skill growing up. Interestingly enough, many people learned this perceptibility as a child growing up in families where discerning the truth felt essential.

Nowadays, I'm not so sure I ever was good at detecting lies or truths. Worse - I don't even care. Desire for truth itself has faded.

I may be molting in the squeeze between cynicism and despair.

Is this what getting old is about?

Desire. Let's pick a basic one. Sex. All my life sex was something that had to be controlled, minimized, and suppressed. Except in marriage where it's nice, but controlled still in a somewhat different way.

Now I find after years of suppressing desires themselves, these desires are respondinging. They are fading. I'd be happy to have some desires.

Food doesn't appeal to me. I have no passionate hobbies. Everything is pretty much boring. Drinking and catching a buzz has gotten old - again. I don't even desire to play music much anymore. I've about given up on it. Is this what growing old is like? Or is this just my old friend Mr. Depression cementing his roots into my arteries?

Don't know.

But I do know this (tip-o-hat to Caveman Lawyer) - I don't like this feeling of getting old.

Truth? Love? Sex? ... Eat? drink? And be merry?

My Grandfather often would quote to me as a child the whole last chapter of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There is a warning there of years to come when a person "has no pleasure" and when "desires fade away." That part of the quote used to puzzle me. I just couldn't fathom it.

I feel it now.

I stand face to face in a doorway to the last phases of my life.

It looks like big, dark and empty.

I don't want to go in.

(But of course, I just can't stand here looking stupid either.)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Joy

Well, yes, I am a grandfather now. And 50 years old. This boy is cute as a button though. He's sharp and intense like his father too. Adena and I were blessed enough to go to Prague and visit this little "real McCoy" and his parents. I'll admit, he is the highlight of my affections for now, and the most endearing thing I've come across since the birth of my own children.



I haven't fully decided yet how this all affects me other than the realization somewhat of the adage "it's NOT about me". His presence still causes a lot of reflection on my part - a person who is unhealthily over-reflective anyway perhaps. Having a whole 'nother generation forward looking at you in face, cause one at least to wonder about how well they have done so far in preparing the whole this child will enter into. I do have my own regrets in life. Now they lurk about in my mind as little demons hoping to haunt me through all the "possibilities" that could have been awaiting this young child.



However, I didn't make the world, I'm just living in it. Vinnie will have to face all the same problems and pains we all do. Hopefully, he can find the joys also, and they will outweigh the costs.



Joy. That must be the measure of successful living. How much joy have I encountered, encouraged, and invoked in others. Joy. If I can find just a little of that daily, and look back and find it as an after-flow trailing through my life - then I will come out in the balance.



For now, a little person follows behind me two generations back. His name is Vincent Andrew Sanders. He is a joy - to me. My prayer is for an abundance of joy to follow him through life.





For more pictures of Vinnie you can dig through an assortment that I and Alena have each posted for public viewing.

Enjoy.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

After Performance Wilmeth Interview

I was lucky enough to get an interview with beach bum Rick Wilmeth and his lovely singer wife after they mangled the beautiful John Prine song at Rick's retirement party. Rick shares his secret to success.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Terms I Am Sick of Hearing

Terms at the office I've really gotten sick of hearing:

"Deep-Dive" - supposedly means when someone is really going to spend some time getting into the technical aspects of a certain problem. Translates better as "I don't know. I'd have to get someone else to figure that out." Sometimes this term is used to put off non-technical people vaguely meaning "I don't care to try and explain it to you."

"Push-Back" - supposedly a high level term for when one department is requested to do something from another department and they have reason not to or require clarity. Used a lot when the requestor doesn't understand what he's asking for in the first place.

"Churn" - Emails, phone calls and conversations back and forth engaging many higly paid people to accomplish nothing other than "feeling" like they've accomplished something. Used reluctently buy often by the few people involved in the churn that actually could be accomplishing something.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Rick Wilmeth's Retirement Party - Jamaica Beach

To know them is to love them.

My two favorite people sang John Prine's white trash love song and did a pretty good job too considering they'd been drinking tequila all day plus the normal one case of Busch beer for breakfast. It took me all afternoon to catch up with him.

Happy "rest of your life" Rick! Love you. (you bum)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Think. Simplify.



Death by PowerPoint



From: thecroaker, 10 months ago







Fighting death by PowerPoint... How to make a presentation and not to bore your audience to death.



SlideShare Link



Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sam Hall

the man in black

I was doing some quick research on the origins of the song "Sam Hall" that Johnny Cash recorded on his 2002 CASH cd.


Ask me sometime when you come by and I'll try and sing you this song about a man cursing the crowd while he's about the hung from the gallows. I've been practicing. :)



I stumbled upon this text written of a slave turned free after forty-seven years who's name was also Sam Hall. It's a very interesting, authentic and intense read. (Wow, I just described my personal ideals)


Friday, June 6, 2008

Poetry

The first poem I ever learned:

here I sit
all broken-hearted
tried to shit
but only farted

Facinated by this little diddly that I read on the inside wall of some truck-stop stall as a kid. Stuck in my mind so elequoently. I still think it's a near perfect poem. It's pretty much the only poem I could ever quote.

Remember those days when scratchings, nasty drawings and phone numbers were scrawled all over the stall walls? Those were fun days. And then you could come out to wash your hands and gawk at the little dirty machines promising sexual satisfaction for her that only cost like $.50? I always kind of wondered what little things were in there for only two quarters.

I was always curious to call one of those phone numbers and see if anybody really answered, too. I pretty much figured it was all a scam though and didn't want to waste the money or take the chance of making a call. I was always curious though. It was fun being curious and facinated about what things might lie beyond these numbers and machines and in the hearts and activities of the people who did these things.

I usually didn't stick around in these bathrooms too long. They were always kind of scary and dirty.

Now-a-days in big cubicle-ridden corporate professional America, there are no scrawlings on the bathroom walls. At least not here at my work. Grown men go into these stalls and fart big and loud and make disgusting sounds and nobody there snickers or laughs or says a thing. We all quickly do our business, wash our hands, and quickly come and go with very sober faces.

One of these days I'm going to shout out to one of these stall members, "Hey, keep it down in there will ya!?"

Then I'll have to hold my snicker as I rush back to my cubicle to hide.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

13 Things I've Found to be True

  1. What you decided at 10 years of age is pretty much who you are now.
  2. Beauty is more important than truth.
  3. All the hard questions can be answered by looking at the context of the question.
  4. Better to listen than to speak.
  5. Those concerned about the existence of God are on the left and right sprectrums of the bell curve of wealth - those without are hoping for good to prevail, those WITH have the time and freedom to wonder is Good prevails, and those in the middle are struggling in the balance (thereby consumed by the world around them.) (not REAL sure about this one either)
  6. If you spill your drink, you've already drunk enough.
  7. If you walk sideways, you know you are drunk.
  8. The purpose of life is to have as much sustainable joy/fun as possible. (? - This one I'm not sure about.)
  9. Its ok to cuss if no one's around to hear you.
  10. Everything that lives fights to survive - even hummingbirds.
  11. There is no good and evil outside of the context in which it is discussed.
  12. The context above is usually time or the subjectivity of the experience.
  13. To get a cramp out of your leg calf, get out of bed, stand on that leg and force your heel to the ground. It will ease.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Know What You Mow - Hill Country Grasses

The last couple of years I've been learning my hill country grasses. As I've been selectively taking out my cedars, I've curiously seen several bunch grasses sneaking up in these clearings. I resisted the temptation last year to mow these down. Believe me it was not easy. I spent most my life in suburbia and learned to mow, trim, and edge the front and back yards neatly and squarely like my suburbanite peer pressuring neighbors.


After a while these fresh grasses coming up got pretty tall and a bit weedy looking to my culturally derived suburban tastes. I let them grow anyway - to the slight dismay of my wife. During these summer months I had been learning about the four great prairie grasses. You know - the ones that the pioneers said covered the buffalo prairies as far as the eye could see? The grasses that stood as tall as the covered wagons such as Little Bluestem, Big Bluestem, Switchgrass, and Canadian Rye? I imagined these beautiful swaying waves of grain someday being a part of my own little five acre hill country spread. This was when I went to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center native plant sale and bought a several pots of Little Bluestem.


I planted these grasses throughout my property and nourished and watered them hoping they'd take hold. While these potted grasses were being babied these other natural grasses that I was watching grow were getting taller and taller in lots of places throughout where I had cleared the cedar. I never learned what kind of grasses they were till late fall when it dawned on me that these were all Little Bluestems! The same grasses I had planted. I was over-joyed as I walked about touching and admiring these native gifts of nature that had been laying dormant in seed for years waiting for me to give them the opportunity to grow. I also found some Big Bluestem that came up that by the end of the year stood over six feet tall!


The Hays County Master's Naturalist class of 2008 did a site evalutation on my property this week and pointed out to me several other grasses I didn't know were growing on my property, including beautiful Switchgrass, Eastern Gama, and Silver Bluestem.


Today as I drove my borrowed John Deere riding lawn mower over my bottom land property I had to stop and start and go in reverse a bunch and sway and drive this way and that to avoid all these interesting clumps of grasses - that I now what to give a chance to grow so I can see what they turn out to be. Riding mowers don't seem adept to dart and dodge individual clusters of grasses. They're meant to go straight and cut - everything! It was harder than if I had been cutting in squared right-angles. But I realized nature just isn't very straight nor square. It is complex and varied like a crystal or a river or a spider web. By the time I was done, my wife thought I had forgotten how to mow. I said, with a sheepish smug look, "No, I did it that way on purpose."


Now that I know what it is that I am mowing, I am more more particular about what I slice with my mechanical toy wonder. I've come to enjoy the mix and match of grasses that are now growing everywhere on my property. It takes work, but I'm developing a taste for these prairie grasses that give me just a little hint of those great tall prairies that my forefathers experienced. I think even my wife is enjoying them too.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Manage the Noise

Team:

In response to the boss's request for tips to help us communicate thru email better, I Googled and searched the Net but couldn’t find anything beyond the common sense “1.) Be Concise 2.) Don’t Spam 3.) Spell correctly” kind of article. So I wrote my own and would enjoy hearing any tips that you all might have.


Manage the Noise: Conciseness in emails


When writing emails:

· Do not “cc” someone without taking the time to summarize and say WHY they are “cc” ‘d. (If you can’t at least do that, how can you expect them to take the time to read it?)

· Never say everything that comes to mind

· First ask, "What is the bottom line that I want this person to hear from me?" (If you can't phrase the bottom-line concisely (1 sentence), then the thought is not clear in your own mind. Make it clear to yourself first.)

· Then ask "What do I expect him/her to do with it?" (If this question leads to the answer "nothing" then you shouldn't really be talking.)

· If you need to brainstorm and flesh out ideas to get clarification, then call that out so other person knows that this is "bouncing back and forth" time.

· When you are trying to get clarity for yourself, you are consuming someone else's time and brain power. Do your homework first and then ask for help.

· Prioritize your thoughts for the person you are talking to. (Don't make small things sound big, and big things sound small.)



When reading emails:

· Help your speaker get to the essence of the idea and the decision that has to be made.

· Never fear missing some minutiae. We live in an age of over-information. If it’s important, it will come back to you.

· Accept your responsibility to control your own time.

· It is not rude to politely say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time for this right now." (Even in an email reply. It is rude to let the other person assume that you've heard them.)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Talking to myself - define the problem

Taking my own advise and talking to myself, I had a dialogue the other day and tried to hone in on step 1 of solving any problem - Definine the Problem. The subject was global corporate control of the onslaught of data and how to deal with it from an architectural standpoint. (I am a data architect by trade and nature.)

Thus:

(disclaimer: excuse me if it sounds like gibberish. it may be)

**** break snippet begins here ******


define the problem
all data is in a RDBMS - meaning its splayed out everywhere for efficiency and
speed of collection the tools for data manipulation is everywhere - the
knowledge, the Microsoft products (from Excel to SQL Server), open source, the
network itself, ubiquity of computers)people will never cease from digging,
turning, striving to understand data from unique perspectives

so what's the problem?


conflicting data numbers

is that so bad?


yes. numbers need to be definitive

even if there was an "official" set of numbers, anyone with "un-official" numbers can question it - causing churn, justification, backtracking, proving numbers, etc. And some people will be motivated by instinct to do just this.


a possible answer is the evolution of simplicity through complete
transparencythat means: instead of trying to hide complexity through middle-tier
software and access to raw data elimination, REVEAL the complexity (open source
code) and make it open and alterable and viewable by those that CAN and those
that CAN'T understand it.

What's this do?


It allows second-guessing to be done at the code level specifically
questioning
logic instead of the fruit of logic.

It eliminates churn driven second-guessing by those unable to understand
the complexity of the code itself.


but it doesn't dissolve the conflicting numbers issue... it only puts a handle on it at best.


another possible solution would be to allow the reporters of numbers to compete
and defend ala Capitalism or a Darwinian eco-system. the consumers of the data
will choose nourishing or diminishing the data providers into success or
extinction naturally - the best will survive and rise to the top.

that solution is naturally rejected because of the fear of the loss of control it produces.


this fear could possibly be mitigated by an "open-source" attitude management
(e.g., Wikipedia)


bottom line is that open information produces a certain amount of argument and
chaos (ala science itself)


Is it worth trying to eliminate this naturally propagated discussion with
Millions of $$ of new software, resources, and jobs?

..comes down again to a cost/benefit ratio.


That’s the final question.

Is it worth it? What do we get for what we pay for? (now the mystery of economy slips in and the circulation of the dollar itself.)

So again. What is the real problem? And What is the cost of that problem?


the problem is conflicting data.

the cost of that problem is churn and waste of money and time. but how much? can it be quantified?


difficult to do.
guesstimate twice the amount of people and time needed to do the job. (incidentally, the 2nd half of people that would be "cut" will not easily give up their purposes or jobs.)


What's the expense of fixing this assuming it can be fixed?
About 15 million $ for one middle-tier software package and 7 million $ for another middle-tier software package. Plus however many new people hired with invested time to implement, herald and rollout.


I'd guesstimate about the same about of people to implement, retrain, and hire
to do what jobs being eliminated. So in reality this is just a shift of skills
and jobs and peoples.

So if everything evens out, then the cost is
however much $ was sent out to software companies for product itself. (i.e. 15 +
7 = $22 million)
Will it solve the problem?


mostly not. because churn and questioning will still ensue due to the nature of
the people and the tools available and ubiquitous.

So cost/benefit ratio is $22M/$0

What about the benefit of the newer potentially robust views of software that will now be available that wasn't before, enabling better management.?


I'd have to say that the numbers were mostly already there before mid-tier
software and it will probably not be used more or less by management. ROI still
= $0.

So do we give up? (second question)


No.
What do we do?


Implement RAW DATA retrieval abilities across the board at a middle management
level through rollup into mart table pivots by an official group (Reporting
Services whether custom SQL, Business Objects, or Merced, etc.) so RAW data is
available back downwards to individual level generators (agents themselves,
their managers, and sites).

And use SAME RAW DATA rollups to report upwards to executive management
levels -

ALL WHILE KEEPING PULL CODE COMPLETELY ACCESSIBLE AND VIEWABLE.


Key points being that it must be RAW and TRANSPARENTLY GENERATED. (all 3 solutions tend to NOT be.)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Rocky Edge Site Visit


I'm studying for a Master's Naturalist certification and in the course of events we will be doing a site visit here on the "Rocky Edge".


The description in the site visit handout is as below. --hey, It's interesting to me. [shrug] :)


Description:

Mitch and his wife Adena live on a 5-acre tract on a sandy point of the Blanco River. The entrance to the property is the highest point on the land; the house sits mid-level and overlooks the sandy bottomland below. Although the bottomland has deep sandy soil, the soil at the top is sparse and rocks protrude.

Mitch's interest is in encouraging as diverse a habitat as possible for wildlife and future family generations. His concerns include river bank/erosion control, bottomland mowing decisions, and upland cedar and prairie grass management. The abundance of rock at the entrance provided all the material for the rock wall. There may be a cave under some of the large, hollow-sounding rocks.

He would also like to promote wildlife habitat and has noticed turkeys, porcupines, and rock squirrels on property. He has reported a number of bird species, including Painted Buntings, Nashville Warblers, Canyon/Rock/Carolina Wrens, and Green/Belted Kingfishers. Twenty-three native grasses and four oak species have been identified.

The Sanders’ property is a good example of what decisions need to be made ecologically to develop a smaller piece of land.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

Wife was up puking all night. Our friend brought her dog over and my wife watched it chase down and murder our old cat that we've had for 19 years. I buried it. There was a lot of bawling, blaming, and squalling.

Another friend calls me yesterday saying they are staking out with the cops the home of a mutual friend of ours (J) who text messaged us all saying he's got a rifle in the other room - threatening to kill himself. I think he's off his meds again.

I got stood up for a movie date by my two friends. (They bought Adena flowers - that was really nice.) Add to this the memories of the death of our baby daughter this time of year (Mother's day - 24 years ago) and I call my mom and wish her a happy mother's day but end up being chided for not going to church that morning. (I was up most the night.)

I feel guilty, but I'm tired already so it doesn't matter much. Life is like that, huh?

Happy Mother's Day all!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Blanco Brethren have 1st Annual 3-day Camp-Shin-ding-Thing

Hanging Out in Purgatory
Blanco Brethren (formerly known as the "Ancient Society of Sacred Assholes") has concluded their 1st Annual Camping celebration for men. Camp-Shin-ding-Thing seems destined to be a continual April 20th weekend event.

From most rumours up and down the valley volume was sufficient to keep away some of the werewolfs, all of the women, and other hounddogs and sane folks.

A common chant of "Chee! Chee!" perplexed most of the uninitiated and between some of the tears and beers and expressed fears and tobacco most of the brethren survived - somehow in tact.

They may not be the better off for it all, but they sure as hell ain't any the worse.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I am NOT Al-Queda!!!

Went to pick up a friend at the airport. Stopped for a minute at sidewalk. Security officer quickly told me to keep it moving. I drove around in circles slowly looking for my pickup. Around and around. Finally I park and wait. He comes in. I go and get the car again. I don't see him. He sees me and comes running out. A big hug. I jump in the truck but apparently not fast enough for some frustrated driver behind to curse and shake their fists at me. I get out to see what's wrong. A man jumps out and wants to fight. We cool off and get back in. I start to pull off, but another security agent stops me. She chews me out and belittles me for getting out of my truck in "her" section. She enjoys chewing me out for awhile and informs me that cameras are everywhere and I'm on film and she has the power to "escort" me out of the airport. I hang my head and apologize over and over as she enjoys her tantrum of power. She finally lets me go with disgust.

I scream, "I AM NOT AL-QUEDA!"

Why the stress? Why the sacrifice of freedom? Why the over-protectiveness of everyday life because some nut-group Muslims bombed New York? I'm sick of it. America has traded her freedom for the illusion of safety.

I'd rather be un-safe.

At least we wouldn't be jumping out of the cars in frustration ready to fight each other.

I think the terrorist have already won this war. We've traded in our common-sense wanting our government to protect us. What happened to that spirit that said, "Give me freedom or give me death" ?

I don't wanna die for it, but I'd be willing to sacrifice some of my "safety" for some common sense freedom again.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Larry Norman






Larry almost always surprised me.






I saw him in concert several times in the '70s at pretty big shows in Chicago and Minneapolis. I expected rock n' roll but instead got soul searching contemplative speeches. One show, he was real quiet and serious with these spiritual callings of "let's just be more like Jesus" stuff mixed with rock n' roll anecdotes.






One story he told was how scientists did studies on rock n' roll and found that if you put house plants in front of speakers and play loud rock music, the plants would grow away from the speakers - (implying some kind of bio-adversity.) And in his dry monotone voice he'd remind everybody afterwards to not place their plants by their speakers when they played loud rock n' roll.






The next concert I saw of his - after I told everybody how he has these nice sit down reflective monologues, quietly sitting at his piano prodding holiness through Christ in his listeners - he comes FLYING out on stage, spinning and his hair twirling round and round with this rock the house down intro music and this dressed in black “Johnny Cash” look.






Larry surprised me often.






Larry's nemesis at the time was one "Bob Larson" who emphatically declared that simply the syncopated beat of rock music was from the devil and drove teenagers to sex. Larry made fun of these comments with superb stand-up comedic dry humor. Kids like us loved it. We laughed at Bob Larson's books and claims of personal knowledge of rock (since he self-declared himself as having actually been in a "Combo" in his pre-Christian days). Bob Larson eventually went on to casting out demons on radio and chasing down the devil elsewhere. Larry kind of faded away after the 80's.






As a church youth group leader in the 80's once, I took the kids to see Larry Norman perform in Pasadena, Texas at the Civic Center. Me and my wife rocked out at the show and the kids enjoyed the freedom of enjoying a rock show and loving Jesus at the same time with one big eye on the representative spiritual leaders (us) bobbing their heads to the music. Some of the kids there that day included Josh Magnuson, Pat Ruland, and David Robinson – all of whom are friends still as adults.






It was at that show that Larry made a call to salvation and like most evangelical events prayer leaders were waiting in the wings to walk you into your salvation experience. David came forth and got routed over to the side by some super Christian who ended up lecturing poor David for what seemed like forever to me with all this Christian babble that I feared was missing the point. Of course it was only proper for me to sit aside and trust the Holy Spirit to work through this person to lead David into his "born again" experience.






…which of course is NOT what I did.






I snapped up David out of the hands of this well-meaning Christian for fear that David would lose the moment and took him by the hand over to where Larry was standing around talking to some fans. I burst in with David and said, "Larry, this is David and he wants to get saved. Can you pray with him?"






Larry paused his conversation for a second and said, "Sure."






He prayed a sweet, honest, simple prayer with David and in a few moments said, "Amen."






I KNEW it could be simple and Larry did NOT let me down.






Larry was a sweet and spiritual guy with a wry sense of humor and a willingness to rebel. He was just what the doctor ordered for many a young man seeking salvation in that age.






I remember being so bummed out when I first became a Christian and figured I had to give up all my music. I'd played in garage bands all my childhood life and now I actually went and busted my precious albums including my favorites such as "Grand Funk" and "Black Sabbath".






Christian life was very boring. Then I heard this concept placed into a song, "Why should the devil have all the good music" and my spirit rose again to new and glorious heights. This was Larry Norman's trademark song sand with all the sassiness that the concept deserved. We early “Jesus Freaks” loved Larry. I later credited him as one of the men in my life that contributed dramatically in my autobiography after asking him permission to quote his song.






I remember in the mid 90's being surprised that he was around. Again, he surprised me by being an early advocate of the web media... having conversations and posting comments and things for people. This was before corporate America and average person really knew about the web. He was always a bit cutting edge.






He ended up having a long drawn out death with money problems and no insurance (I think). I remember seeing his website in the 2000's with updates on his health and opportunities if people wanted to donate money to help him to have his next surgery. It was truly pathetic to see him so down.






Josh would comment to me how he was surprised that whenever he mentioned Larry Norman's name to people who should know about Christian music, nobody ever heard of him. I'd shrug my shoulders.






I'm glad he at least in his death gets some legitimate recognition for being who he was - "the father of Christian rock."






I'm going to miss you Larry. Thanks for the blessings and for sharing your thoughts and feelings and music.




I think that's just about exactly what Jesus would've done.



Some of my favorite songs on MP3 of Larry that I recorded from vinyl (you can hear the crackling) sometime back in the 90's - ... titles may not be exact, albums are up in the barn.... do the usual right-click/save as...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Info-tainment Insurance - is that what church services are about?

Wow... I love the sassy come back of "get over it, it's not about you anyway" kind of attitude. Good slap in the face. Thank you.

Now, back to reality.

Church has always been only about one (maybe two) things for me. I've always went (even back in bible college days) ONLY because I thought I might be able to encourage, teach, exhort, cheer-up, encourage somebody that might be there.

The other lesser important reason I've always gone, is that just maybe I could have a moment or two with others where I can feel like I am worshipping the true Him.

I've given up on the first because I basically am what my friend calls an "Atheistic believer in Jesus". (I've basically given up on a Christian world-view but not on Jesus himself.)

So anything I say tends to break down the world-view "eyeglasses" of the others in church and they can't take that. People like the coherent story they've already been using. Even if it is just ooey-gooey muckly mud and manure rolled up into a containable ball with pearls mixed in. Its still got pearls and it's still containable. ("Here - hold it, touch it, swallow it, carry it around.")

So I don't/can't teach/exhort any longer.

And now if the second reason is also gone... (i.e. I cannot gain moments of group worship or at least feelings of memories of past group worship, a.k.a. traditon) then I find no reason to get up early and dress and go to this parking lot of hope with promises of bigger and better parking lots providing shallower and shallower info-entertainment in the context of a non-interactive discourse.

And yes, I am whiny. I'm tired of losing good things.

You nailed it with church is about "hope for the good." (that's a very beautiful statement, btw)

I have been hoping, hoping, hoping - only to watch it slowly decay into the soup of mediocre self-entertaining shadow remnants of an America past dripping in pop culture non-relativeness. Yeah, there may be some jewels there, but I'm tired of treading through all this guck.

They stand on stage not leading interative contributions to the body of Christ. It's some kind of shallow performance. And they're not that good at it. (I can get professional performers ANYTIME on the stupid TV.)

I long for experience. For encounters. For gritty interaction. For truth, action, debate, tears and fears and comfort and love and pain. Life. Life more abundant.

Smiling faces, and spin-around happy hand-shaking with fuzzy monologes with deep-meanings through projected speeches is easy.

Hell, I can get that from an insurance salesman.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Read Think Speak

These are some great mini-lectures by some really bright people. Do a search there on "happy" for some good stuff.

These are some free books you can download. Here's the list I've downloading and am reading now:


Hating America by Barry Rubin and Judith Colp Rubin
A $35.00 gift from LifeLock
Downloaded on 4/1/2008 5:17:04 PM — Available Until 4/4/2008

4.4MB

Quantum Jump by W.R. Clement
A $19.99 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 4/1/2008 5:19:31 PM — Available Until 4/4/2008

25.2MB

The Star Chamber: How the Celebrities Go Free and Their Lawyers Become Famous by Eric Dubin
A $25.95 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 4/1/2008 5:15:59 PM — Available Until 4/4/2008

1.8MB

Shattered Dreams, Broken Promises: The Cost of Coming to America by Michael Viner
A $24.95 gift from LifeLock
Downloaded on 3/31/2008 9:57:12 PM — Available Until 4/3/2008

3.0MB

The Whistleblower: Confessions of a Healthcare Hitman by Peter Rost
A $14.95 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/31/2008 9:56:43 PM — Available Until 4/3/2008

1.1MB

When You Ride ALONE You (Still) Ride with bin Laden by Bill Maher
A $15.95 gift from Celsias
Downloaded on 3/31/2008 9:58:13 PM — Available Until 4/3/2008

4.7MB

Skipping Towards Armageddon by Michael Standaert
A $14.95 gift from LifeLock
Downloaded on 3/28/2008 7:54:35 AM

The Road to Serfdom by Friedrich Hayek
A $10.00 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/28/2008 7:54:24 AM

At War with Ourselves: Why America Is Squandering Its Chance to Build a Better World by Michael Hirsh
A $26.00 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 3/28/2008 7:54:55 AM

Free or Unfree: Are Americans Really Free? by Edward de Bono
A $19.95 gift from LifeLock
Downloaded on 3/22/2008 7:02:47 PM

Essential Guitar Chords by Paul Roland
A $13.95 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/22/2008 7:04:14 PM

Who Cares About Legacy Software? (Answer: Everybody Should!) by Robert L. Glass
A $9.95 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 3/22/2008 7:02:25 PM

An Open Letter to the CEO About Lying to Management by Robert L. Glass
A $9.95 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/21/2008 9:42:14 AM

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
A $10.00 gift from Celsias
Downloaded on 3/21/2008 9:42:21 AM

Simple Websites by Stefan Mumaw
A $25.00 gift from LifeLock
Downloaded on 3/21/2008 9:42:37 AM

Creating Neighbourhoods and Places in the Built Environment by David Chapman (Ed)
A $56.00 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 3/20/2008 10:25:10 AM

Graphic Designer's Color Handbook by Barb Karg and Rick Sutherland
A $25.00 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/20/2008 10:11:41 AM

The Digital Photographer's Handbook: Travel by Simon Joinson
A $25.00 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/20/2008 10:08:44 AM

A General Theory of Magic by Marcel Mauss
A $105.00 gift from PredictWallStreet
Downloaded on 3/18/2008 1:28:55 PM

Beast and Man: The Roots of Human Nature by Mary Midgley
A $17.95 gift from PredictWallStreet
Downloaded on 3/18/2008 1:29:12 PM

No More Prisons by William Upski Wimsatt
A $12.00 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 3/18/2008 1:30:53 PM

The Complete Guide to Drawing & Illustration by Peter Gray
A $18.00 gift from Vonage
Downloaded on 3/17/2008 10:18:50 AM

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
A $10.00 gift from Celsias
Downloaded on 3/17/2008 10:32:10 AM

Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
A $10.00 gift from WOWIO
Downloaded on 3/17/2008 10:32:46 AM

Monday, March 24, 2008

Traditional Worship is NOT Traditional - [heck it's not even worship]

Traditional worship sucks about as bad as the contemporary service. In the contemporary service at First Baptist Church of Wimberley you get the hip young guy singing gospel radio hits with a sincere feeling and music that has a basic harmony and maybe a catchy phrase that gets repeated to the point where you almost feel like you know the song.

[I didn't know these were radio songs till I saw a cheesy TV commercial listing "all the popular Christian music" and heard the samplings by the original artists and realized these were all the same songs we sung in church. I didn't know they were radio songs, but at least gained the insight into why our music minister thought they at least "should" be popular - the original artists made them sound good (meaning: and deep meaningful heart-felt emotions.)]

Along with "contemporary music" (which yes, basically sucks too) you get the hip young pray person who prays something like - "God, we just wanna thank you, and... just wanna.... blah blah ... just ....just ... just ... God ... Jesus ... Spirit.... praise you .. just now... feel your spirit... just... and on and on with fairly meaningless dribble "spontaneous" prayers that God would roll his eyes at if he has eyes. (Forget about the annoying Jesus-God-Father-Spirit confusion that leaves the listener reeling in wonder - "just who the heck are we talking to?" (I know the technical "trinity" one-for-all and all-for-one concept... but c'mon... can't we just talk to one or the other at least in clearly separated sentences? I mean, where'd all this "God appreciates it when I just blather whatever vague thought is on the tip of my tongue right now" communication style come from? Hmmmm.... even daily office American greeting chit-chat isn't consistently THAT predictable.

But I reserve my larger complaints for what was called the "Traditional Service" celebrated Easter morning in my used-to-be homey beloved church. I went to a traditional service on Easter expecting to sing "Up from the grave he arose, With a mighty triumph over his foes..." and some of those ... how do you say... "traditional" songs... what'd we call them? Oh, yeah... hymns.

What ever happened to the hymns?

Aren't hymns what we mean by tradional church anymore?

Instead I heard songs that essentially all sounded like they were "written just for that particular service" (as my mom puts it).... with a whole blaring horn section and screaming old ladies trying to stretch their off key voices louder than the brass sitting out front ....

And while I am ranting.... I am sick to death of these Microsoft PowerPoint presentations with the words to these songs that nobody knows how to sing and their wavy little colorful backgrounds! Don't we all get to look at screens enough during the week?! TV? Computers? How about shutting down the visual electonics and open up one of those strange hardback books sitting on the backside of every pew? Maybe we could look at possibly the MUSIC with measures and pauses and notes that indicate how the song is actually supposed to sound!

Why does everything have to be dumbed down!?

It's insulting, boring, non-creative, passive and as non-interactive as going to a theatre in a suburb.

Either give me some tradition and continuity that at least stirs memories of past feelings of worship, family, love and community OR make the music sound creative, modern with the expressive quality that most people in our society take for granted

But please stop drowning me this bland mediocrity of the "in-between" nothingness! It's embarassing and boring.

[Larry Norman, modern church customs either owe you an apology or the blame for this mundanely evolved style of music. Can anybody save us? How is it the black church seems to still have quality music with heart and soul? Is white church singing really committed to just being awful?]

Friday, March 21, 2008

Just One More Walk Around!

[This article was published in the Centralia Sentinel newspaper Feb. 14, 2008 and is reprinted here with permission by the author - my mother.]

Just One More Walk Around!

Well, here I am approaching 70 years old and I am still thinking about Odin. I think back to when I was a lone child delivering the Centralia Sentinel in Odin. What I want to do is to go back to Odin and walk my old paper route just one more time. Although I spent many an evening walking around delivering my papers I just can’t seem to get the experience out of my head!

I had my share of trauma. Dogs chased me and I was scared of them most of the time. I had no boots or gloves and in the winter I would play simple games of warming each of my hands in my pockets and pretending they were really warm. There was a gentleman that lived at the end of Woods Street that I was so scared of. He had a huge red horse which he rode to town to get his groceries and mail. I had to open his rusty old gate and go around the back of his large scary and spooky house to collect. No matter how often I went around the back of his house to collect, he never answered the door. However, one day he did open his door and paid up his bill. He was so kind and gentle. This taught me a lesson that I have carried with me through the years. The outward appearance of an individual may not reflect the true nature of that person.

I was a scared child. I was afraid of persons that I perceived to be grouchy, or people that lived in fine houses and people that obviously had more fine things in life than we did. You see, we were a big family and we did not receive an allowance nor did I get the money from the paper route. I had absolutely no spending money. After school most of the classmates went to the local Drug Store to get a cherry coke. Sometimes, I too would go, but I couldn’t buy a coke so I would stand around and dream of all the items displayed on the counter and in the cases.

Odin Schools – I am so grateful for the wonderful schooling I received at Odin. I realized when I went out into the world to work that I received a wonderful and outstanding education in Odin. Spelling: Mrs. Mattie Martin forced us to want to spell and spell we did! She went over the words daily and learning to spell helped me more than I can explain. This helped in my career. I was a medical secretary for two hospitals. Also, the training in office skills was terrific. Although I could not afford to go to college, the special training I received at the Odin school carried me way above many college educated co-workers. I ended up working as an assistant to the President of a large corporation.

So, before my 70th birthday this year, I plan to come to Odin and walk my old paper route, walk to school, down Main and back to my home street. Thanks to my childhood in Odin, it gave me a wonderful life!!

Sincerely,
Norina Veronica (Ingles) Lovvorn

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I asked Moon/God/Other for a Revelation

FIRST REVELATION: What White America doesn't understand is that Black America has a deep wound that hasn't fully healed.

SECOND REVELATION: If you concentrate on the form, you'll lose the essence.

I asked Moon/God/Other this morning for a revelation that I could keep. I got back two.

The first I realized when a Black Church came to our Church a few months back. It was a fellowship yearly agreement between our little country White Church and an Austin urban Black Church that goes back more than 20 years. The preacher wailed and preached and talked in metaphorical language that went over the heads of most White folks there. He talked about overcoming a harsh dark oppression that weighs heavily on the Black man's soul. (But he didn't SAY Black. He assumed it. He was talking around most of the Whites - like Black people are sooooo good at. It's a learned art I'm sure.)

He touched my soul and made me realize that there still exists a painful wound deep in the heart of this Black preacher, of every Black person there shouting 'Amen', and of Black culture in general. They understand this deep wounded psyche and it haunts them still.

To most White people the Black slavery episode is long gone and over with. Even prejudices in White culture has decayed into a sort of of squeamish "White Guilt" where we can't even hardly acknowledge "Blackness" or "Whiteness" and look a person in the eye - White or Black.

Like someone said, "You may be done with your past, but your past isn't done with you."

My second revelation has also been a long time coming - but it flashed into words again this morning. It is that Zen balancing act of awareness that all mystics seek. It applies to God/Religion, Martial Arts (live fighting/learned forms), and all knowledge and wisdom that can pursed into words. More can be said, but a lot less should be. If you focus on it, it is gone. If you see it, it disappears. If you hold on to it, you lose it. Blah, blah blah... :)

Actually, a third revelation also came/was-given to me.

THIRD REVELATION: My soul is living or dying NOW.

(Stir all 3 into a bowl and bake for 30 minutes, then send me a self-addressed stamped envelope for your officially approved "Mystic Certificate.")

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Building a Data Infrastructure is Not Easy

I was asked today at work how long it would take for me to "get this data fixed"?

I replied as such:

With all due respect the words “getting this data fixed” makes me cringe (though I understand what you mean.)

The reality is - the system took my nice Rolex watch [working data infrastructure], took it apart, placed it in a bucket, took a bunch of other watches apart, placed them in the bucket also, blind-folded me, tied one hand behind my back [Org changes, IT restrictions, lack of hardware/space/access/software control, programmers in India coming/going] and then yelled,

“How are we supposed to know what time it is if you don’t have a watch!"

"Well, you’ve got the ingredients there… can’t you just make one?"

"We’ll need an ETA also… and don’t forget to finish up that other important thing you were doing.”

Then she asked me repeatedly for a NAME of the person in the department that wasn't helping me properly to solve this problem - so she could ESCALATE the matter higher.

So I tried to explain in more non-metaphorical terms the exact systemic problem and how it evolved to where it is today.

She insisted again that I give her a NAME so she could "escalate the issue" [read: hollar, scream, complain through a bunch of emails]

Some people just don't get it.

I gave her the name of the CIO.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Managing Expectations

I've found myself here at the "Rocky Edge Ranch" (aka my little cabin home on the Blanco river) turning into a "wanna getaway place" for everybody I know.

Unfortunately, I am not a B & B and have to work full time so I've found myself having to "set expectations" (a customer handling tactic I learned at work.)

Here's my reply to a friend. I figured I could just post and reference this to everybody planning to visit...... kinda funny I thought.

************************************************

Let’s talk about some specifics and maybe “manage some expectations”…..
Factors to consider:

  • You don’t need to rent a car… I can pick you up and take you back – Austin airport works on workdays (me driving back and forth), is an hour’s drive from house otherwise. San Antonio airport is just a bit longer drive but much more pleasant, but I DO NOT drive near it on weekdays like I do the Austin airport.
  • I work 5 days a week still and won’t be able to take off extra for entertainment purposes.
  • I work 2 days a week from home on Monday and Tuesday so, those are good days where we can visit and be around the house. (while I work, assuming my duties will be light.)
  • It’s nice just to sit around the cabin, with the dogs, looking at the river, sitting around a fire, drinking beer/margaritas….. that what we do best.
  • Neighborhood fun doesn’t PLAN out too well - is more spontaneous and never guaranteed. But we can always go visit and see what kind of trouble can be stirred up.
  • I have another friend (Christian free-thinker – a bit eccentric but intelligent and funny – plays guitar) named Pat who wants to come visit also…. I think you two together would be fun. Let me coordinate a visit from him the same time.
  • I am pretty much worse than broke ($$) and everything (food, gas, etc.) costs just the bit more now a days and puts me into debit spending – not asking for money, just telling you my limitations.
  • Adena naturally enjoys company but has tendencies to need to entertain everyone and drains herself of all energies to the point of illness. This is a repeated pattern for her. My desire is to subtract not add to her stressful life habits.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Don't Get Flustered. Get Even.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to avoid getting flustered when people walk up to me with emotionally charged demands. I'm getting some tips from the Jay Morrissey "Practical advice for living" blog. Thanks Jay.

And if these don't work I can always Google for nasty ideas ... :)

Cave Braving


...went caving with my "little brother" (Adena's brother).... he was expecting some kind of walk-in cave... you should've heard him whine when he seen what we were going through... most of these cracks and holes we crawled through were small small and black black...

Mike was braggin' all the way there about his bravery and skills.

Once we got about 40 yards down he was begging to go back. Towards the end he started saying things like, "don't be fooling with me now Mitch, how much further? I'm starting to freak out here."

Then I told him my little 14 year old niece and her brother went through this with me last summer right after she recovered from her cancer and all her treatments. I also told him that my son, Brandon, did this with me when he was about 6 or 7 years old.

I don't think he believed me.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

FEAR AND THE TEMPTATION TO LIFE

FEAR AND THE TEMPTATION TO LIFE

i felt a little bit rebellious
i didn't put my seatbelt on
i drove a long ways ... i was a little bit nervous... careful... i watched the cars and stayed in my lane


drving on a dark curvey road, i didn't want to be too risky.
I put my seltbelt on. Ahhh, that feel's better. More comfortable. In tact.


most cars go around me
i stay in my middle lane... move to the right... speed up a little
too many cars passing me


my dad didn't wear his seatbelt once
...got in a wreck
...broke his neck
...ruined his life
...can't hardly walk still
...constant pain... can't hardly turn his neck...


(can't hardly talk either - but he never really could)


it hurts to see him... he gave me a watch recently...
called and said he had about 10 and wanted to know if i wanted one
i said "sure"
i'm wearing it now


"X Alert!" ..."KA Band!" - my radar dectector speaks to me... i hit the brakes - don't see any cops
cars are passing me still - i've got my seatbelt on
i move to the right lane


i got pulled over once
one freaking day when i didn't have my radar detector
a friendly cop pulled me over


- he told me to turn around and put my hands behind my back
he snapped metal handcuffs onto my wrists
he put me in his car
we left my car on the side of the road - highway 290
he took me to jail -


he left - i haven't seen him since.


he said, "too bad... you seem like a nice guy"
(my license was expired or something - i totally didn't know it...
some glitch in the mailing system...
my fault.
my problem.)


they frisked me
they signed me in and took my stuff in my pockets
they took away my shoes
they put me in a cold concrete holding room
with other guys - who were bad too
they gave me a blanket. there was a small plastic window
you could see the cops doing stuff
they couldn't hear you
everybody was depressed


i drive slow
i watch for cops
i wear my watch


i started to not wear my seatbelt driving to work today
i wanted to be risky - and a bit defiant
i snapped it on after a few miles
i kind of enjoyed it though - i was awake a little bit


i went back to sleep - finished my drive to work
i was awake for a little bit though
anxious - but awake
careful - but living


i think a seatbelt is a false security
- it probably shouldn't be a law
- you can get pulled over for not wearing one


i am a pussy
i'm wearing my watch though


...in case i ever need to know what time it is


.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

TOYS ruin your brain !!!

I knew it was good for me to talk to myself! YES!

Science now discovers that talking to yourself is not only good.... it is essential for a sound and disciplined mind and life.

Read or listen to the NPR report - "Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills".

"Permitting and encouraging children to be verbally active — to speak to themselves while engaged in challenging tasks — fosters concentration, effort, problem-solving, and task success." — Alix Spiegel

Damn.... no wonder all these adults I work with can't stay concentrated in a dialogue for more than a minute.... TOYS actually ruins your brain!

Damn that consumeristic Mickey Mouse pig!

Like my 4 year old nephew said so succinctly to me once when I pointed out to him the cute giant cartoonish moosehead hanging on the wall (for whatever the hell reason) while I was walking him to his "Sunday School" class in church ----- "I hate him".

(good call Joe)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Devil and Daniel


Daniel Johnston is sort of an Austin icon that is still around making music and art and such. Someone did a documentary on him in 2005 that is interesting and worth watching, especially if you are interested in Austin culture. I think it was Nirvana's Kurt Cobain that sort of launched his art popularity wearing one of his famous "Hi, How Are You?" t-shirts that incidentally is sort of a landmark of graffitti at 21st and Guadalupe. Here's a little filmish thing he did that I liked.


Disclaimer on previous blog entries [for future character assassins, employers, lawyers, etc.] That stuff about Adena getting mad at me for driving off to go to Big Bend.... I was just kidding... that's all extremely exaggerated stuff. I pretty much lie about everything, so don't believe me.


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Why Mitch Sanders is a Selfish Asshole

[My latest adventure (read prior post) was even a worse decision than I thought. When I came home I had to face my wife who wrote this list during the night and read it to me upon arrival the next day.]


Why Mitch Sanders is a Selfish Asshole:

1. Did not say goodbye or where he was going

2. Was intoxicated when he drove off

3. Phone was off, I did not know if he had been arrested, killed, in an accident

4. Put our Life as we know it at risk of destruction or in serious jeopardy - (DUI, accident..)

5. No regard for his wife who has had a Land Cruiser w/ "Big Bend" License plates for 10 years and has been dying to go but left her here to take care of responsibilities (Dogs, etc.) and unable to share the adventure w/ husband.

6. Causes me to question for the first time as to my husband's ability to make decisions. I have always trusted his wisdom.

7. I am in serious doubt as to whether he can drink (Obviously not).... Judgment impaired and is now becoming destructive.

8. I worked yesterday so we would have a nice weekend, only to most likely (because of bad judgment and drunkenness) to be left with what is! - no sleep, ill, anger.

9. In my panic and worry it was clear I am not prepared for Mitch's demise. Need to get all that in writing.

10. While worrying, I get up to check if he took his medication with him, concerned he would be coming off alcohol and his meds, no inhaler, probably sleeping in the cold, after getting over the flu last weekend and week, missing several days of work.

11. Got up again to see if tequila or beer was gone - tequila is gone. I can picture DUI and open bottle in truck and Mitch getting belligerent w/ an officer and that just goes on and on ! ... (shot, arrested, lose job, court costs, bail...)

Saturday, February 9, 2008

My Margarita and My White Trash Vacation


I made a new margarita drink. Three shots of "white" tequila 100% agave and a shot of Contreau. I'm calling it a "3 amigos" because it makes you do stupid things.

So I had me a "3 Amigos" yesterday while visiting with my wife, Johnny 'O', and River Rose. I get this great idea of let's all drive down to Big Bend for the weekend. We could leave about 3:30 in the morning and throw in all our camping equipment and take off. It's about 11:00 pm and Big Bend National Park is about 10 hours away - somewhere out in absolute desolate isolation from all civilization.

The girls don't really think its a great idea and would require more preparation.

But I say, "Heck ... I'm gonna do it." I throw some snacks and tequila into the truck along with all the camping gear I can find. Standing by my truck, trying to decide if I'm actually going to do it, I decide, "Yes" and hollar down to my wife "I'm really thinking about doing it."

She mumbles something about how the dog would enjoy an adventure and turns off the light and goes to bed.

I jump in my truck and head out. It's about 12 midnight.

It's great fun. Playing "Ray Wylie Hubbard on the radio" like Hank Williams Jr. says in his song.

Two hours later I pull over with all the semi-trucks and curl up in the seat of my truck to sleep.

As I'm getting cold and miserable lying there in my truck, I start questioning my judgement.

By 7:30 AM I've pretty much decided "this may not be such a great idea". I call my wife and let her know where I'm at and I've decided to come back.

She sleepily restates, "So you're somewhere outside Kerrville and you're coming back. OK."

(So much for having a "3 Amigos" and deciding on big adventures in the middle of the night.)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Adena-rita Margaritas - over 1800 served!


Well Adena and I collected up our stash of Topo Chico bottles that we've accumulated over the last couple of years and we counted them as we loaded them into the truck.


680 bottles!


We added the 100 bottles left on my Topo Chico tree (remind me to post a picture) and estimated about 120 bottles over the couple of years that went to actual trash.


Count:


680 + 100 + 120 = 900 bottles


900 bottles / 2 margaritas per bottle = 1800 margaritas


Total Adena-rita Margaritas served: 1800 !!!

We call them "Adena-ritas" because of our special mixture and the very special top secret ingrediant - Topo-Chico. Shhhhhhhhhh ... don't tell anybody... they've been bottling it since 1895. Everyone in Mexico pretty much knows its the best mineral water you can buy.


We're pretty famous for our "Adena-ritas" in the neighborhood, Wimberley and Austin and even get special guests traveling in for them from as far as Illinois and the Czech-Republic.


Stop by any time and try one. You'll never go back to plain margaritas again.

:)