this morning I was born again

I read a book - "The Secret Life of the Soul" by Keith Miller. In it he shares how he learned to pray daily, listening to God and writing down whatever thoughts come to him during that time.
I thought I'd try that. I did this morning and here's the results:

Don't be trite with me
Breathing is good
Hear your breath
Long black veil
(Hearing drum patterns in rain on roof)
I can hear my neck bones turn
I hear emptiness
A man who doesn't control his breath, doesn't control any part of himself
I've never heard the sound of a pen writing on paper before (you gotta listen carefully)
There is a sound to silence, but I can't tell if it’s just in my head or my eardrums, kinda like the sound you hear in a shell
I think part of it is the little hum coming out of the refrigerator
I'm gonna start praying for people

I don't believe in you anymore
That's too bad
What am I to do?
You tell me
Give up

The silence - I can't turn it off
I wonder if that's what the grave is like
Ahhhh... the refrigerator fan kicked on
It's nice to hear something
I wonder if people would just rather hear something over nothing?
Sure they would
False belief is still belief
A tongue licking in the air (dog)
You sense nothing, so you start licking yourself (dog again)

This morning I was born again (song lyric from Ray Wylie Hubbard)

My sheep hear my voice
I'm listening with my heart
And I hear nothing

I hear some things - my breathing and a hum in the air
So hearing is just a metaphor
I'll try and taste for God
My tongue is numb
I taste coffee
I bet I look pretty stupid with my mouth open and my tongue out
"Taste and see that the Lord is good"
Stomach growls.. bird outside.. roof creaks ... stomach growls

Ok see if I can see Him
Arms are cold

Smell Him; see if I can smell Him
Smells like air

Well, I've run out of senses
One more: The seeing-hearing-feeling-tasting-smelling
Do it longer than just hearing my own voice

I poured myself another cup of coffee, turned off the bed lamp and watched the light of early dawn fade into being
Hoping to see hear feel taste or smell God still

I went back to sleep and dreamed that I could float. I was in church and was amazed that others weren’t amazed. I can float. It is an amazing, beautiful, glorious feeling. It feels like flying. I love the feeling of it. Joy fills my soul.

And I now others watch me, but they are not impressed much. Still I show them. I fly - float - suspend myself. I laugh and enjoy the experience as I slowly drift to the floor with the ability to push off again and hold myself in mid air for long moments.

I wake up.

I've had these dreams often lately. And each time is seems like I am better and better at pushing off into the air and staying adrift for longer and longer periods. I don't know if its good but it sure feels good.