Wow... I love the sassy come back of "get over it, it's not about you anyway" kind of attitude. Good slap in the face. Thank you.
Now, back to reality.
Church has always been only about one (maybe two) things for me. I've always went (even back in bible college days) ONLY because I thought I might be able to encourage, teach, exhort, cheer-up, encourage somebody that might be there.
The other lesser important reason I've always gone, is that just maybe I could have a moment or two with others where I can feel like I am worshipping the true Him.
I've given up on the first because I basically am what my friend calls an "Atheistic believer in Jesus". (I've basically given up on a Christian world-view but not on Jesus himself.)
So anything I say tends to break down the world-view "eyeglasses" of the others in church and they can't take that. People like the coherent story they've already been using. Even if it is just ooey-gooey muckly mud and manure rolled up into a containable ball with pearls mixed in. Its still got pearls and it's still containable. ("Here - hold it, touch it, swallow it, carry it around.")
So I don't/can't teach/exhort any longer.
And now if the second reason is also gone... (i.e. I cannot gain moments of group worship or at least feelings of memories of past group worship, a.k.a. traditon) then I find no reason to get up early and dress and go to this parking lot of hope with promises of bigger and better parking lots providing shallower and shallower info-entertainment in the context of a non-interactive discourse.
And yes, I am whiny. I'm tired of losing good things.
You nailed it with church is about "hope for the good." (that's a very beautiful statement, btw)
I have been hoping, hoping, hoping - only to watch it slowly decay into the soup of mediocre self-entertaining shadow remnants of an America past dripping in pop culture non-relativeness. Yeah, there may be some jewels there, but I'm tired of treading through all this guck.
They stand on stage not leading interative contributions to the body of Christ. It's some kind of shallow performance. And they're not that good at it. (I can get professional performers ANYTIME on the stupid TV.)
I long for experience. For encounters. For gritty interaction. For truth, action, debate, tears and fears and comfort and love and pain. Life. Life more abundant.
Smiling faces, and spin-around happy hand-shaking with fuzzy monologes with deep-meanings through projected speeches is easy.
Hell, I can get that from an insurance salesman.
yada yada yda
ReplyDeleteI hear this rap again and again
Take it to the streets
Jesus is on the street corners .
Jesus is in the neighborhood parks.
He uses the porta johns if they are there, where is the Church???
Stop stop don't tell me.
He is hidden in the faces of the broken, the lonely, the rejected.
Let go of the Chritianity I Did.
But the Church, well
to escape the Church that is another disscussion.
You say you want to follow Jesus
this is a good ideal a worthy vocation. I admire this in you
But to reject the Church.
Semantics, the hell with this
I lost my patience with
the same stuff some time ago.
I with you man,
remnember Randy Matthews??
Passion for Jesus, yes
Deep personal commitment to Christ
yes, Fire for the lost, yes
This Jesus is personal living faith.
I know you, you still have it
This is why it hurts sooo bad
This is why you long for this
Jesus
Me too
wow... i am responsless... your bitterness belies your sympathies.
ReplyDeleteSo how has your heart survived all these years?
...and yes I remember Randy Matthews... a major dissapointment... was that a cause for stumbling for you?
...my death has been slower ... i've been more deliberate in my search ... trying to be honest with myself...
...and if Jesus equals "personal faith in living" as in FAITH IN LIFE, then yes, loss of Christianity whether it is the loss of the church or not, is a great loss indeed.
Maybe that is what I am facing. Maybe I am destined to the same despair you seem to wallow in.
It seems if i whine about the failures of Christianity, I at least show some miniscule faith in it. Mocking everything right down to the love of Christ himself is pretty much casting all hope into hell.
So how HAS your heart survived all these years?
You understand what this bozo is saying? I guess I need to brush up on crazy.
ReplyDeleteI can barely ascertain literacy let alone bitterness or an attitude toward Jesus.
It seems I've heard this voice before...
ReplyDelete...could be an instance of "knowing someone by spirit"
.... maybe not crazy, but definitely confused and definitely bitter....
...some serious pain was caused here in the past ... pray for healing if you believe in prayer.
...hope for healing if you don't.
how bout a 3rd option....
ReplyDeletelet someone kick you in the nuttz...
see if it jolts something....T-dub