Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Ambiguous Replies to CYA

...while emailing a co-worker here yesterday - trying to find some answers to questions - i finally realized the answers given me could just as easily come from a magic 8-ball.

.... on about the 12th email reply, I told her this. She didn't think it was funny, but all her answers were buttressed with caveats such as "I believe blah blah is the case", "blah is true unless your boss tells you otherwise", "as far as I know...", etc.

... i can't write computer programs based on that. Computers and logic have a strong tendency to be binary.

After analyzing this some i've realized this is a corporate cultural tendency - so i went to my favorite corporate guru and tried to find a dilbert cartoon that utilizes the Magic 8-Ball. I couldn't find one but i did find a quote and the list of 8-Ball responses - both published here. [please forward the dilbert comic if someone finds it.]

The Necessarily Ambiguous List of Acceptable Corporate Replies

Reply hazy, try again.
Better not tell you now.
Ask again later.
Concentrate and ask again.
Cannot predict now.
Signs point to yes.
Most likely.
As I see it, yes.
You may rely on it.
Outlook good.
It is decidedly so.
My sources say no.
Very doubtful.
My reply is no.
Outlook not so good.
Don't count on it.


I've didn't include the following absolute statements from the original Magic 8-Ball because they don't really fit in with our corporate culture:

Yes.
Without a doubt.
Yes - definitely.
It is certain.


Scott Adam's 8-Ball Corporate Wisdom

Dilbert.com - DNRC - Read the Newsletter: "If you replaced all of the CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies with Magic 8 Balls (tm), and came back in five years, you would discover that some of those companies had compiled excellent track records by pure chance. The CEO's job in a huge company is essentially the same as the Magic 8 Ball: saying yes, no, or maybe, without the benefit of understanding the questions. A Magic 8 Ball is highly qualified for that sort of work."

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