Can I be completely honest with myself and still be a Christian? - part V

So I have to take some time off to go and study what this Christ said. (Like I haven't done this a zillion times already, yet here I am again still. Geesh!)

But I can make some preamble discussion points that I’ve already discovered from past research that I just can't hardly question any further. These basically are as follows:

Jesus the Jew was not an urban myth.

The Jesus of Nazareth tale is not a hoax. Nor is it an ex post facto fabrication of a group of fishermen turned religious zealots. Nor was it a simple exaggeration into the miraculous of common day events. He did exist in history and he did walk the course of miles and miles from one town to the next and back again in the Galilee region around 30 A.D. preaching revolutionary ideas and performing what appeared to be miracles to the crowds that followed him.

There's just been too much serious serious research effort and studies done walking and tracing the paths that Jesus of Nazareth walked. I've read about half of Edersheim's Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah published in 1885 and this is a monumental publication of known research efforts. It’s totally amazing to me how every step and saying has been ad infinitum compared to the culture and geography of the time and mapped out over and over again. To make a cheap argument that Jesus never existed is intellectually lazy and intentionally self-deceptive at best -even when presented from pseudo-experts in a pseudo-documentary.

The documentation we have about Jesus Christ is reliable.

Again, there's just too much research that's been done on this. (I don't even begin to have to energy to go and try to disprove or prove any of the New Testament starting from myself.)

I can at least go back and read the biographies (gospels) written by Matthew and Mark and Luke and John and be satisfied that I am reading the words that this special guy named Jesus actually said to these people at the time.

Again, ultimately I could be wrong. I could always be wrong. But I think I can be at peace enough, given the studies done by others, that I don't have to keep going back to the fundamental questions of "how do you know Jesus even existed?" and "how do you know the writing we have of him aren’t frauds?"

I think I can safely study the words of Jesus to see what he said.

I'd much rather all this be obvious. But it's not.

I'd much rather also that I could "know for sure" when I conclude things, but unfortunately, I must admit, that I will always be open to the idea that I may be wrong - whatever a viewpoint I take. That sucks.

But I didn't create this situation. I'm only a creature within it - standing upon a desert isle looking around to see what I can find.